Update: soul sucking in progress.

I sent this picture, along with some others of my study center, to Fbomb and SlackerP yesterday. That was my low point. I was so out of my gourd from studying that I resorted to taking pictures of my room. It was ugly.

Now I stand on the other side of my torts exam though. Rather than telling you about it, I thought I'd sum it up with some post-exam correspondence between Fbomb and I. This is really how we talk to each other; this is how far down the spiral we are [edit: re-reading this, it actually sounds like it's just me that's down the sprial].

From me to Fbomb right after test:
"done w/ torts for the rest of my life. it was a good first test to have b/c i have no idea how i did. you just spew info for 3 hours. i typed 18 pages. i read none of them. it could be good, or it could be an F. we shall see. "

Fbomb response:
"awesome!! congrats. i'm super jealous. "

Me (apparently so delirious that I sent essentially the same email to her twice)
"no more torts. ever. it's a good exam to have first though. i have no idea how i did b/c there was so much more than you could cover. i have no feelings at all about it, other than that i pray to god i didn't fail."

Me (back in the library now, getting antsy)
"umm...aren't you supposed to be entertaining me?"

Fbomb (in her defense, she sent me gratuitous good luck emails last night)

"i'm sorry i'm in panic mode and i'm jealous that you're on top of everything and know what you're doing and are doing everything the right way and i'm a fucking mess wading through this shit totally blind with no study groups to tell me what i'm supposed to be doing and i'm the most fucking retarded person ever if somebody doesn't tell me exactly what to do and when i will fucking self destruct. off to memorize my 70 page outline for my CLOSED BOOK MOTHER FUCKING EXAM! O#UOFJKSDFU#(OU#$U#U$OUO#(TdslsdkfjKLDjlkjfklsjielrlier!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Me back:
"Asshole,

1) Since this is all about me, as always, this email was quite a buzzkill. Thanks a fucking bunch.

2) You are right, I am "on top of everything," if by "on top of everything" you capable of physically sitting through a 3 hour test. In that regard, I have kicked your ass. For all we know, you can't sit for three hours. Or your fingers will fall off from the info dump that is a torts exam. You won't be at my level until you prove it.

3) As an aside, I do like the last line of the email. It is great that they include Somali in the required coursework. I mean, any foreign language work in law school is kind of rare, but Somali? Great stuff. Kudos, FBomb.

4) As I told you, I'm 90% sure that a guy from my study group posted on XOXO that he was going to fail and was strongly considering dropping out. His analytic ability is definitely going to put me over the edge. What an advantage I have. Dickhead (I mean him). Touche (I mean you).

5) If you want to see self-destruction, you should see what happens when the 90 year old exam proctor gets asked whether or not to name the CD you're burning with your exam on it. (For the record, I was smart enough not to ask this question, another sure sign that I am inherently superior to you - for those of you keeping score: 1) study group full of autistic primates; 2) I know how to burn a cd).

6) 70 page outline? Christ. Did you type up the UCC?

As punishment for this shameful email and my shameful response, I am posting this correspondence on Penguins so that the world can see what law school has done to us. "

Well, I'm a man of my word at least.