Fuck you Monkey C
Oh the memories. Since I have a handful of friends who are enduring 5 hours of unconscionable agony this morning, the flashbacks of my own LSAT hell have come flooding back. I studied for the LSAT while I was unemployed, so I knew that it was going to be a one-shot deal, as there would never be a time when I would have more uninterrupted days of leisure to fill with logic games and narcoleptic reading comprehension passages. My work ethic not being particularly brag-worthy, I felt accomplished if I finished half the homework that my overpriced racket of a prep course assigned. Unlike E3B, nobody was packing heat during the test. However I did have to brave a blizzard to get there, not even sure that the test was actually going to happen. I don’t consider myself a particularly spiritual person, but the one thing that I prayed for in the weeks leading up to the test was for my experimental section to be anything but logic games. Being the bane of my existence, I really, really didn’t want to endure three horrifying sections of pain. Alas, Murphy’s Law prevailed (sticking to the woe is me theme).
Fun with logic games: Monkeys A-G live in trees 1-7. Monkey A and monkey C both like long walks on the beach. Monkey D likes to eat his own shit, and monkey E is bisexual. Monkey G hates monkey B, and Monkey C hates tree 6. Tree 7 and Tree 4 are both purple. Monkeys A-D all wear yellow rain jackets. Monkeys D and E are having a sordid affair, but monkey D doesn’t know that Monkey E is also sleeping with Monkey G. Tree 5 is taller than Tree 3. Monkey F has 4 illegitimate monkey children. Which monkeys live in which trees?
posted by fbomb @ 12:10 PM
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2 Comments:
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This is a trick question. Monkey F lives in Section 8 housing (Tree 8) which is not part of our set.
This would lead me to believe that one monkey, or a combination of monkeys, owns a vacation tree... and being that Monkeys A and C like long walks on the beach, they may share a gay lovers' getaway in the Outter Banks. If we make the extraordinary assumption that C is flamingly gay, we can conclude that he lives in Tree 7, as it’s the only purple tree without the pain of heartache from a love affair gone bad… (see tree 6)
Now A is still in the closet, and not wanting to draw attention to himself he chooses to live in Tree 3… He would never court another gay monkey in his neighborhood… hence why he chose to pursue Monkey C from tree 7. Rumors and gossip have killed lesser monkeys’ careers, and he has children to feed. We can also use this logic to determine that A and C share tree 1 as their monkey love nest... choosing not to rub monkey oil on each other in a neighboring villa.
That leaves us with 4 trees… 2,4,5,6 and 4 monkeys B,D,E, and G.
Monkey G needs the highest perch, Tree 5, so he can keep an eye on Monkeys D and E. He needs to know when D is stepping out, so he can move in for the bootie call with E. I venture to say that G is lazy… have you ever met an ambitious gangsta? He won’t want to travel far for his bootie call. My bet is that E lives in tree 4, leaving D in tree 6. And with that the secret comes out. D had a sordid affair… but not with E… he was with C, but when he contracted an anal monkey STD, which spread to his lip because he enjoys eating his own shit, he gave C the boot… hence the hard feelings.
By process of elimination we’re left with Monkey B living in tree 2. The yellow jackets mean nothing in this question, just useless information to try and stump me.
Break down:
Monkey A – Tree 3
Monkey B - Tree 2
Monkey C – Tree 7
Monkey D – Tree 6
Monkey E – Tree 4
Monkey F – (Section 8 housing Tree 8)
Monkey G – Tree 5
Monkeys A and C – Tree 1 (The Outter Banks)
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